iOS remains a cesspool of annoyance, but I can’t leave

I’ve been using iPhones since the very first one; I had one in my hot little hands a mere 2 weeks after it debuted. So I’ve seen nearly every shitshow come and go. I have an extremely high confidence that most egregious problems will be resolved, because they always have been, and it remains in Apple’s best interest to continue to fix the big problems.

The small problems, however, remain from release to release. I’m not sure they’ll get around to fixing them. Or, possibly, I’m “lucky” and the only person in the world with these problems.

For example: I switched back to the default Apple Podcast app when I put a CarPlay-aware head unit in my truck. At the time, OverCast (the defacto podcast app for Cool Kids) was not available under CarPlay.

If you care only about the most basic podcast app features, it’s really not bad. I use a podcast app in the most absolute basic way possible: to just play podcasts at 1x. I used to use Overcast, like all Cool Kids, until it occurred to me that I didn’t use a single feature, and like I said, it wasn’t even playable on my fancy new CarPlay head unit.

(Before we go any further, yes, I have updated to iOS 12, and no, I still don’t use Overcast, for a very simple reason: It simply doesn’t work. There is no means by which you can 1)start the car, 2)tap “OverCast” on the head unit, 3)select a podcast and 4)have it start playing. I have to date been unable to create a scenario where Overcast plays a podcast in my car from the head unit. There’s a lot of moving parts there, a lot of different places to break, and from experience I know Marco doesn’t give a shit about edge cases, so I’ll just wait 3 or 4 updates before trying again.)

Anyway, Podcasts.app has for the last 2 versions had a singular bug that violates the “do the most minimal thing possible”: it cannot remember playback position.

So get in car, play podcast, drive somewhere, stop; it will reset the currently playing podcast to 0:00, 100% of the time. (I should note that there is some sort of edge case, where if I pause podcast playback and switch to music, for some period of time longer than a few minutes, it might remember where you paused; but I can’t reproduce it effectively enough to consider it anything other than a random bug-of-a-bug.

This behavior existed prior to iOS 12, and I know they made at least some changes to the app. So there’s 2, maybe 3 possibilities here: 1, this happens to literally everyone; 2, this only happens to me and no one else; or 3, maybe, it’s something weird like “only the FooBar XYZ head unit exhibits this behavior”. Although I don’t think that’s possible, because turning the car off is the same thing as yanking the headphones, which pauses playback 100% of the time.


Another awful shitshow is playback of movies and TV. Here is the correct “workflow” for watching a TV show:

  1. Press “play”
  2. Whatever your previous playback position was, it starts playing from there.

Moreover, let’s say you hit “pause” and go walk the dog. What you’d think would happen upon your pressing ‘play’ when you return is, it plays where you left off.

I’ve never seen this work. Not once. For as long as I can remember movie and TV playback being available on iOS devices.

How is this most basic media playback functionality not working not noticed? Is it just me? Am I just lucky? Does this work for no one, and we’ve gotten so used to computers being shitty we just shrug and try to scan to where we last remember we were watching? (Scrubbing doesn’t work, either, for what it’s worth, so getting back to where I think I was is imprecise at best.)


So what the fuck. Does this work for anyone?

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