jgt's blog

Posted Wed 20 January 2021

Musicals

OK look I'm only going to say this once, so you dipshits can just stop bringing it up.

I hate musicals. I am 47 years old, I have been passionate about music since I was a little kid. Music is my thing. I hate musicals. I will never like them. Yes, I've tried, over and over for decades. Sorry.

I'm not going to go into how 98% of the people yapping at me like deranged tiny dogs get incredibly defensive and mad when I say to them, why don't you like eating a handful of OTC ephedrine and going to a punk rock show. Why don't you like going to live shows. Why don't you like loud music. Why don't you like doing drugs. Drugs are fun. A lot more people like drugs than musicals. Why can't you just spend a bunch of your time and effort trying to appreciate a band called Butt Trumpet while on cheap speed you bought from a biker in a gas station bathroom. Why can't you do that? Lots of people like that. Et mother fucking cetera.

So the short story is, I hate musicals, I will never like musicals, they're stupid and bad and dumb and you are stupid and bad and dumb for liking them and never shutting up about how if I just listen to THIS ONE I'll suddenly change my mind. Spoiler alert: I won't. That ship has sailed. Stop trying.

If you'd like the more nuanced take, well ... OK I still dislike musicals. But, like:

Which is to say, the format of musical is, to me, bad. I can absolutely recognize strong performances, great set and production design, good choreography, and catchy tunes. I am under no circumstance required to want anything to do with it. That's how nuance works. If you can't understand what nuance is or allow it to exist, please try not being a goddamned child.

Category: rants
Tags: musicals